Pico to Chico

Pico to Chico (translated: Pico & Chico) is the sequel to the shota OAV Boku no Pico (translated: My Pico). Personally, I liked Boku no Pico. Not to say it didn't have faults but over all it was enjoyable for what it was. Naturally I was looking forward to the sequel and my-oh-my was I ever disappointed when I finally watched it.

Review submission guidelines warn not to give away too many plot details or spoil the ending. These guidelines don't even affect a review of this OAV because there's no ending to spoil and the entirety of the plot comes down to "Pico, a young effeminate teenage boy, happens across an even younger effeminate boy named Chico and they proceed to do it for the next half hour in various locations and outfits." Unless you're sitting there honestly wondering if the two effeminate boys staring in the yaoi were going to do it, then there's really no surprise to spoil.

The original, Boku no Pico, at least had a semblance of a plot in which Mokkun only felt attracted to Pico when he thought of the boy as a girl. This lead to some usual uke angst and, a classic "confrontation in the rain" scene but it was at least something to break up the action and give some reason to it. The sequel doesn't even come close to this level of storytelling. Seriously, there is no plot in this story. There is no story in this story. Sure you can stretch it and say it's the classic "older man teaching a 'prodigy' the ways of love" story but 1) Pico isn't all that older, 2) with all the feminine traits the design team gives him he barely counts as a boy (never mind a man) and 3) frankly Chico could stand to wait a couple more years before having anal sex with a vibrator while wearing a maid outfit. This whole OAV was just an excuse to show sex scenes. Strike one for lack of any semblance of plot.

Furthermore the sex scenes were on their own level. I admired the original for always having a somewhat sensual and romantic sense about the sex scenes. They were always so tender and loving and even though you were watching hardcore sex you couldn't help but tilt your head to the side and think so cute!. None of that here.

Instead we get scene after scene of meaningless kinky sex. Not to mention a couple un-wanted masturbatory scenes coming from Chico's sister. And it's all so unrealistic, even by yaoi standards. I have to doubt if the creators/design team even understand the mechanics of the penis. I don't want to get too lewd (the anime does that enough for all of us), but let's just say that:

1. The boys must have really overactive testicles for them to produce that much cum and have it launch in streams reminiscent of super soakers and
2. There are a few touching scenes that I have to wonder if they are even physically possible without being debilitating painful (especially for a first timer) and I shudder at the thought of seeing them without the pixels because I know it gets worse.

But the fun doesn't stop at unrealistic sperm counts and potentially impossible touching. We're also treated to cross-dressing sex (complete with maid outfits and frilly male panty shots), vibrator sex, multiple counts of masturbation and some banana penetration thrown in for good measure (maybe in an attempt to rival a certain corn scene).

In between sex scenes there's endless fan service shoved in our faces as the two protagonist's groins and asses always somehow end up in the shot. The only full length dialogue scene I can think of was accompanied by a rear shot of the boys, whose skin tight short revealed every curve and orifice of their butts as they were thrust towards the camera. Naturally we could see their packages from between their legs also... naturally. And if you couldn't keep up with all the oh-so-fast-paced dialogue and couldn't tell who was talking, well you'd be in luck because whenever one of the boys is talking they seem to be wiggling their butts for no particular reason.

Fascinating isn't it? How they managed to cram all that fanservice into the OAV and left time for the plot to unfold and... right there was no plot. All there was, was over the top, totally unrealistic, mildly disturbing kinky sex where they could have at least faked a story. Strike two for bad sex in a sex anime.

Lastly, and probably the biggest, most unforgivable fault of Pico to Chico, was that it was barely a yaoi. Since the original, Pico has been unbelievably feminine. He wears belly shirts with spandex shortshorts with headbands and chocker necklaces. In multiple scenes he wears girl's clothing and in some scenes the animators make it look as though he has small budding breasts. Even his voice actress made no attempt to sound the least bit like a boy. Essentially Pico, a teenage boy, was made out to be a 10 year old girl.

That's bad enough right, but we think its forgivable because of all those sweet romantic sex scenes that the first one had... well remember the second one doesn't have such scenes. Instead the second one goes so far out of its way to seem like a regular straight hentai that the first sex scene of the movie is actually that of a woman grabbing her own exposed breasts while penetrating herself with a banana (and not even from the back in the true yaoi tradition either). Then, the last half of the episode features the boys in full cross-dressing garb (tights, bras, panties, maid outfits... the works). I swear if they hadn't panned down for a male panty shot I would have figured I was watching a regular old hentai. I don't know why Pico would just dive into these clothes so easily seeing as how he didn't like being thought of as a girl by his last boyfriend... but he does anyway because who needs characterization. This scene of girls on girls who are actually just boys was topped off by Chico's older sister returning for an encore performance, though this time without a banana . They all release and then the OAV ends. Sorry if that counts as spoiling the ending...i mean there could've been a chance there was no release, now THAT'S well crafted suspense.

I honestly think I saw more female action in this episode than male. Anywhere else that would be considered fine but this is a yaoi. The target market is straight girls and gay boys. I don't want to speak for that whole market by myself, but frankly when I put in a boy on boy video, I actually expect the majority of it to boys instead of maids and lonely older sisters with fruit fetishes. Strike three: taking the boys out of a yaoi.

To the series' credit the animation quality is still incredibly top notch (to a level some mainstream non-yaoi animes wish they had) and the actual detail they put into their sex is more than I've seen anywhere else (though whether you think that's a good thing is up to you). The opening and closing music is still nauseatingly high-pitched and nothing you'd really want to remember but you will, because it'll be stuck in your head reminding you of the garbage you just saw.

This isn't shounen-ai because it's no epic tale of romance. It's not a BL because there's no sensitive caring love, only sex for the sake of sex. In the end its barely a yaoi because yaoi is supposed to be about boys, not the unbelievably, more than impossibly female boys and the sisters who watch them do it.